What We Lost
by random-laughter
Summary: This is a continuation of my story Final Straw, for those that wanted it to end happier. You need to read that first to understand this. DMHP


A/N: This is dedicated to all of you who wished for a happy ending to "Final Straw" (myself included). I hope you like it at least a little.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. However, I do own a very cool movie poster with Daniel Radcliffe looking up at some thestrals!

DMHP

It had been six months since Harry had let his heart be ripped from his chest. He hadn't dated at all since then, and for once in his life, his friends seemed to understand that he wouldn't just bounce back from the break-up of a four year relationship. He still spoke to some of Draco's friends, and he knew Draco still talked to Hermione on occasion, but he himself hadn't spoken to the blonde since the night of the Ministry party.

Harry found that the break-up had been harder then he'd ever imagined it would be. He had known the day he decided to do it that he would be hurt and upset over the loss of the only person in the entire world, Wizard or Muggle, that he'd ever wanted to give his heart to. This though, this was torture. Even after Draco had taken all his stuff back to the Manor, and Harry had disposed of everything in the house that reminded him of Draco (even going so far as to obliterate the television in a fit of fury), Harry still saw Draco everywhere he went in his house. Even with all of the furniture and clothes and things that Draco had ever liked or touched gone, he still lingered in Harry's mind wherever he went.

It was in things like going to the pizzeria, and being reminded that pizza was the only Muggle food Draco had ever admitted to actually liking. Harry didn't eat pizza now. Or it was when he went to Madam Malkin's and looked at the stool next to him, and his thoughts would very obviously drift back to the snide boy he'd met there years ago. Harry had all of his clothing delivered now.

Harry knew that he needed to get over it. He had promised himself that night that he would never let Draco back into his life, not easily anyway. He was going to a party tonight at Hermione and Ron's, and he was going to enjoy himself. He knew he probably wouldn't meet anyone, because the very thought of "cheating" on Draco disgusted him, even after everything that had happened, but he would have fun. He just had to get himself out of bed and get going.

DMHP

Harry entered the room and saw many people he knew there. He smiled as Ron rushed over to him, and they spent a few minutes in each other's company before Ron left again to go visit with some of his other guests. Harry walked over to the punch bowl where he saw Hermione and said

"We must stop meeting like this, Hermione. People will start asking questions."

Hermione rolled her eyes and smirked, before looking at Harry and saying

"I'm glad you're making jokes. It's been awhile since I've heard any good ones from you. How are you doing, Harry?"

Harry sighed and mumbled that he was fine. He didn't like talking about this with her. Not that he thought she would care any less then anyone else, but it was more the fact that he knew that she was one of only a few people who really knew how Draco was doing. He always knew when she was going to see him too, from the way her eyes dulled when she talked about going out. He just didn't want her knowing how he was, when she already knew about Draco's probable new conquests. The pity would have been too much for her.

They chatted for a while more when Hermione too had to leave, though this was more because she saw Blaise and Pansy making there way over towards them. Hermione and the Zabinis had never gotten along, but Harry had found a friend in Blaise when he and Draco had first gotten together, and when Blaise married Pansy, he became friends with her as well. They were the only two friends of Draco's that he still spoke to. They exchanged pleasantries, before Pansy glared and said resentfully

"I see you've gotten over it. Well, that's good to know."

The last part was said so suddenly and sarcastically that Harry was shocked. They knew that he'd had a difficult time coping for the last six months, and had thought Pansy would be happy to see him up and out. She just glared hatefully at the wall though, and he saw Blaise squeeze her hand and say quietly

"Pansy, darling…that isn't 'keeping quiet'."

And he turned to smile at Harry as if nothing had happened. Harry looked at him questioningly though so Blaise sighed and said

"You weren't supposed to find out. We just came from there though and Pansy is still on edge."

"I wasn't supposed to know what?"

Blaise paused, before saying

"Draco. He doesn't want you to know how he's been taking it. In fact, he'll kill me if he ever finds out I've mentioned this much to you."

Harry smiled bitterly and said

"Don't his one-night stands keep him happy enough?"

Pansy started to yell at Harry, before Blaise shook his head at her again, whispered something in her ear that seemed to mollify her, and turning back to Harry with a sigh and saying

"That's just it, Harry. He has been literally…celibate…since the night you guys broke up. He doesn't sleep with other people, he doesn't kiss other people, and he doesn't even look at other people. He just lies around his house staring at this quill he stole from you when he left that day. Honestly, you'd think he was madly in love with you the way he's been acting. He seems like he took the break-up worse then you, and that's saying something."

Harry was shocked. Draco had been that upset that they weren't together. Still, that wasn't what his next question was concerned with.

"But what about all those people. He said that he needed to have the freedom to be with other people, and that he didn't think we were exclusive. I figured he went home and slept with that bartender the night we broke up." the last part was said extremely bitter. Blaise laughed half-heartedly though, and said

"No, he spent that night doing basically the same thing you did. I'm not trying to force you to take him back Harry, because your reasons for breaking up with him, were good, valid reasons. I'm just saying that maybe…maybe he cared about you more then even he realized. And maybe…you breaking up with him made him see what he'd been blinding himself against."

Pansy nodded her head and said quietly

"Just think about it, Harry."

Before she dragged Blaise away to dance. Harry stood next to the punch bowl, lost in thought.

DMHP

It had been a week since the party, and Harry still hadn't figured out what to do with the information he had acquired. It was one of those choices where everything in your head (and even a little bit of your heart) told you not to do it. Not to take him back, or even let him back into Harry's life. Yet, there was a small part of him that rebelled, reminding him of the fact that no one had actually seen Draco in the past six months that he knew of except for Hermione, Blaise, and Pansy. Reminded him that Draco had once said that he was always committed to the few things in this world that he had loved. It was how Harry knew that Draco was not in love with him all that time. He had never even attempted to stay loyal.

But he hadn't even kissed another man or woman since the night of their break-up. The man who said he liked to feel the attention of other people hadn't even looked at others, and had apparently barely left his house in all that time. Also, Harry knew which quill it was Draco had taken. It was the quill that Harry had once told him was his favorite because of the way it fit his hand just right, and he could let the feather tickle his face. Draco had laughed and told him that he was so strange for liking a quill for those reasons.

Harry had noticed it was missing about a month after the break-up. He had just figured that it must have been destroyed in one of his many fits he'd had since Draco's departure, and mourned its loss. To know that Draco had taken it was at once upsetting and made him hold the slightest glimmer of hope. If Draco had remembered him saying something so trivial, maybe Blaise was right. Maybe there had been more to his feelings then anyone had really known.

Harry's mind was set. He would visit him tomorrow.

DMHP

The manor was as imposing as ever, but Harry strode up to the front doors, and knocked soundly on them. A house elf opened it tentatively, and squeaked when he saw who was standing at the door. Harry at once asked the elf to not tell his master he was here, but to tell him where Draco was. He was led to the study and left at the door.

Harry stood staring at the door for what seemed like an hour. Finally, he worked up the courage to knock on the door, and after hearing a soft "enter", his heart started beating rapidly and he went inside.

There sat Draco, staring into the fire, his head held high as if his haggard appearance and his death grip on the quill in his hand that he hadn't even looked at and was brushing unconsciously against his cheek, was the most normal thing in the world. Draco didn't turn around when Harry entered the room, instead saying

"I thought I wasn't having any other visitors until tomorrow. You three just can't seem to understand that I don't need your pity."

Harry sighed and said

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing that I wasn't planning on giving you any, isn't it?"

Draco whipped his head around and stared wide eyed at Harry. He seemed to be at a loss as to what to say to Harry and instead settled for

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

Harry ignored him though and said instead

"Oh Draco, what happened. We weren't supposed to both be heartbroken over this."

Draco glared at him, and Harry knew at once that he should have phrased it better. Draco began ranting.

"Well, I'm sorry that your plan for leaving me was ruined by me having actual feelings. It's not like I would normally have those or anything, is it?"

Harry shook his head, seeing a bit of the fire that he had been led to believe was gone from Draco now. Whether he put it back there, or whether it was just better hidden now, Harry didn't know, but he cleared his throat, and said

"Why are you so depressed over this, Draco? You were the one who didn't want to commit, you were the one who cheated on me constantly, and you were the one who never even seemed to care about how much it hurt me. You can't deny doing any of these things, so why are you moping like this?"

Draco's glare intensified, and he said

"I never would deny those things. I was terrible to you. I will never regret my actions" at this, Harry started to glare at him.

"But," Draco continued "I do regret not realizing that you were the only one that actually mattered to me. I'm proud and pig-headed, and I don't like to feel common. My feelings for you were such that I chose to block them from my conscious, which in turn pushed you further from me. I shouldn't have cheated on you for so long, I shouldn't have cheated on you ever, and I know you'll never want to be with me again, Harry, but you should know that even though I don't deserve it, you were still my best friend. I want to be able to call you that again one day."

Draco allowed his head to drop, the dejected feeling that he'd had for six months finally lessening slightly after being able to tell Harry this, although he knew that under normal circumstances he never would have said anything. However, he was slightly drunk, and so his words were coming out easier then they normally did.

Harry watched Draco's head droop, and acted on instinct. During Draco's speech, Harry had listened and felt that pesky sliver of hope try to take over again. His brain kept telling him not to listen, that nothing would change, and that he had no reason to trust Draco anymore. Moreover, Harry didn't necessarily trust Draco now. Still, he trusted Hermione, and Draco's friends, and they all claimed that Draco had been miserable and aloof ever since the breakup. Before Harry knew what he was doing, he had strode over to Draco, and kissed him softly. Draco stood stock still for a moment before kissing him back. For both of them, it was like the pieces of them that had been shattered months earlier were beginning to reconstruct themselves. Harry knew, though, that he couldn't let it be that easy. He pulled away slowly.

"This doesn't mean we're back together, Draco." he said softly. The slight glimmer in Draco's eyes dissipated, until Harry continued, saying

"It doesn't mean I'm not willing to be friends with you again though. And from there…if you can prove to me that you really do care for me that way and not just miss having _someone_, then and only then will I think about taking you back."

Draco nodded his head vigorously. At this point, he would take anything from Harry that he could get. Friendship wasn't what either of them wanted from the other, but it would have to do. For the moment though, they would pick up the pieces and try to recreate themselves into something new…together.

DMHP

A/N: so that's it. I hope that you at least kind of liked this continuation.

Review!


End file.
